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“In Love vs. Love”

In my opinion:

     When you’re “in love” with someone, it’s more of infatuation and a feeling of idealism that you find sacred within and about that person. Being in love, to me, is like you want so much of that person in a short span of time:

  • their time
  • their conversation
  • their attention
  • their trust
  • their secrets/story
  • their dreams
  • their wants
  • their desires
  • their fantasies
  • their shortcomings
  • their goals
  • their hurts

…almost damn near everything; it’s as if, if you could breathe for them, you would. And so with that said, this rapid burst of affection is so sudden and at times, so overbearing and feels so nice to us, that we often dismiss some early warning signs. This phase is more gay (not in the homosexual sense) but definitely more happy and free and inviting. Which is again nice, but usually does have a time limit and extensive repercussions. You ever hear someone say, “I was so in love with her/him and then they hurt me?” I dare not say that if you love someone, they’re less likely to hurt you, but the “in love” thing is so much more attractive to be and very identifiable — and usually it does not last.

        Now when it comes to “love,” that’s where things tend to get more complicated, but at least it’s more concrete. Love will have you break up with someone and not feel sexually attracted to them anymore, but you’ll still care for them as though you were together and they needed you for something. How many of us have had an old, low down, dirty no good ex that we still purchase and do things for, just because we still love that person? And most of the time we don’t even understand why we still fuck with that person or even talk to them — we just know that they need us and that we are the only ones who are willing to help them with whatever. How many times have we had an ex call us and say they miss us, and old feelings surface? That’s a sign of love!!! Whenever you feel the need to constantly care for someone and I mean really care for someone, that’s love. In spite of any wrong that a person may have done to you, the feeling of still loving them is more strong and is a foundation; which builds more. Love is:

  • sad
  • precious
  • blinding
  • heart aching
  • wonderful
  • benevolent
  • malevolent
  • pulchritudinous 

Everything! Old folks can say, “I have been with my spouse for over 50 years and I am still in love with them.” This only means that the spark and lust and desire of attraction, is still there and blazing. Which is very good. But if you want to talk about something more resilient and more coveted and sacred, then love wins every time. 

        Naturally there is a balance that you must find in order to keep your relationships healthy. We each must create our own definitions in these “In Love vs. Love” battles. And honestly that’s the beauty of it all. Finding your own place, “in, love.”

…thank-you. craig.Image

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